Lies I Tell Myself

    

 Just tell everyone you're fine, you are right? Act like everything is going great, that's it, bottle up those evil emotions and wait until darkness takes over you. Don't act like you can't handle anything that will put you off as weak and vulnerable; you have to stand high and smile because  "everything is going great."

   No one will know how you hurt to break free of sadness, so no one can understand how it hurts to be you, no matter how much time you spend surrounded by people you will never feel as well as you ought to until you're in your own space.

  Then comes the desire to spend late hours out so you will reduce the time you spend in the area you loathe, no really, think about it, you won't want to be in that area so you'd spend more time in an area you're more comfortable with.

   But in the end...

  You have to go back there and face reality. But oh the day you will be leaving that place, what a huge feast will be held in your head.

  But until then, how do you explain to anyone that you're bleeding internally, that you can't sleep that you feel mentally unstable and you're faking joy to forget sorrow, how?! Of all things in life, the more you grow, the more it becomes difficult to air your feelings, to express your emotions, to even feel right because even you don't know what it is to feel right all because you haven't felt right in a long time.

   Oh well, while we await the waves of freedom, we keep telling ourselves to look fine so that no one asks us questions  we can never answer for fear of tearing up and breaking down to pieces.

   So, just smile when there is light, frown when there are no eyes and cry when all is black.