TWO TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

 

Image sourced from Pinterest

Not everybody in your life should be treated the same way, because not everybody is going to stick around in your life for the same amount of time.

Yes, you should treat everybody right, but what you shouldn’t do is expend the same amount of energy in every relationship.

Why?

Because some relationships end as soon as they start, some might last longer than you thought they would, and some are there for a lifetime.

I’ve been reading “Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office”, and one thing I picked from a chapter I recently finished is that there are two types of relationships.

There are transactional and personal relationships.

It is not enough to know about these relationships; however, it is essential to know how to delegate your attention and time to either of these relationships.

Obviously, these relationships were written in the context of corporate relationships and all, but let me show you in a different light.

First, Transactional Relationships.

Whether we like to admit it or not, there are relationships we are in to get something out of. This is not about calling anybody out, but about pointing out facts. There are relationships that we are in for the sole reason of what we can get out of them. Be it status, provisions or even security. It depends on you.

Secondly, Personal Relationships

These are the relationships that we, to put simply, hold dear to heart. These relationships are the ones you tend to pay more attention to and are more careful with handling because you know you shouldn’t mess things up, because you’d be losing a lot, even more than you would get in a transactional relationship.

I’m going to add that a relationship can be either of the two or both, but I’m not going to dive into that right now.

And I am going to point out that not every relationship should be treated the same way.

A transactional relationship can look like having a brief conversation with someone where you ask for directions or support, they give you the directions, you go your way and leave them with their peace. It could also be, as pointed out in the book, when you happen to sit beside someone in a plane or in a bus, and you engage in a brief conversation. If you are tired, you would want to be polite by indulging them, but eventually, you will have to end the conversation so you can rest up before the journey ends. That’s what a transactional relationship is like: treating relationships that won’t last a while like the fickle things they are. You might not meet the person again after that ride, but if you exchange contacts or pick up an interest in them before, it’s totally different. At that stage, it’s becoming a personal relationship. With the awareness that you might not meet the person again, you’d want to set up boundaries and be respectful because you still have to be polite regardless of who you meet in life. That is why I mentioned that you might not have a relationship for longer than a moment, but you still have to treat people right because you might meet them again somewhere; nothing is impossible.

Now, a personal relationship is one that you would scorch the ends of the earth for. One that you would keep making allowances for, and one that you would always put into consideration before making any big decision. A personal relationship stretches you in many ways. This comes in the form of a relationship with a best friend, an acquaintance, a family member or someone you value in your life at the moment.

These relationships are treated with more love and affection than a transactional relationship. And yes, they are treated on a more personal level. There will always be preferential treatment in these relationships; you can’t avoid it.

What I need you to understand is that regardless of which relationship you find yourself dealing with, you must maintain your sense of self and boundaries while maintaining the awareness of them being another human.

That means, be firm with your boundaries but still treat them right; offer a shoulder of support when they need it, have a listening ear, etc., etc.

Particularly for transactional relationships, you NEED to always remember that you might always meet that person in another place. You might not know them well enough at the moment, you might not know them well enough at that point in future, but they could be anybody, and life does not end in the place you meet them.

In all, treat all relationships well, but be practical when delegating your time, attention, focus, and dedication to every relationship.

But that depends on what type of relationship it is.