I want my life back 1

 I need my life back.

Where I can be free and enjoy my day and worry less about duties that need to be carried out

Where I don't need to be awake by a specific time each day

Where I can be myself and sleep peacefully without worrying about passing my get up time. Where I can actually hear the alarm ring and wake up happily.

Where I can wake up in the morning and not hiss at the day 

Where I can wake up with the feeling that each day will be good.

I need my life back.

Where I can play games and watch movies and read novels all day long.

My teenage life that I never owned for a day,

That I lost years ago to the wind

I grew up before the age 

I'm now older and more mature

But it's not a happy feeling…

It's depressing,

Having to fulfill orders, to do things to satisfy everyone but you. To just put on a brave face and forget about your weaknesses to go beyond your limit and end up in pains, to have scars all over you and nothing to remind you of how you got them, to experience severe memory loss all attributed to stress.... To cry each time you're in a closet for absolutely no reason. To be all smiles or super stern when you're in public but a huge blob of mess on the inside.

I need my life back.

So I can smile and feel my age, live life with little to worry about.

Work and rest and achieve a balance between the two 

To live life with everything balanced...that is the life I want the life I miss so dearly,

I need it back

I want my Ife back I'm living in a prison...I'm caged by my duties

I'm living in a theatre, where I have to put on an act and be perfect.

I need my life back, where I don't need to strive for perfection

My life where I can be just me.

But I never owned it...duties and responsibilities overwhelmed me at my early teenage years...I never experienced it...I'm an adult trapped in a teenager's body...and I desperately need to let this adult out and the real teenager back in...where I can be lazy and feel free..

Where I don't need to stress myself to get things done...where I don't have to complete multiple tasks at a time, where I don't always have to remember something in order to avoid getting insulted...tell me where I can get my life back because I need it so badly. I need it more than anything else...I need to rest, I need time off.

 I'm living a lie, I'm just an act...a never ending act...it's becoming  part of me and I don't want it to be...I don't want my life to be all about work and no rest...I want my life...I want my life...I just want my life to be all about balance and nothing more...where I can have time for absolutely everything about me.

I need my life back .

Where can I get it?

How much do I need to buy it?

I'll do anything to get it back.

I'll do anything to have my perfectly normal life...I'll do anything for my balance...

Yeah, life's a bitch...but she gives us the life that suits us...but she can also take it from us.

She took my teenage life away and gave me that of an adult before I  even had the chance to grow up. I don't need this I need my teenage life back...give it back...I'm not happy...I'm trapped and caved in...I'm depressed...and it's all because I have a different life...my real life is gone and I want it back. I've been caged and burdened.

I want my life back.

Give me my life back.

I need it desperately